poetry | ashionfashion

Dear Anger,
You do me no good
yeah, sure
Jesus flipped a table,
but that doesn't mean
I should be warranted every single table I flip
Jesus flipped a table
because he was making a point
They were using his Father's house
for their own reaping
never seeking
God
He wasn't just angry at the people selling
He drove out those who were buying,
as well
their money a vote towards the disregard of God's presence
building a strip mall
with their silver coins
rather than a bridge
with their time and prayer

Dear Comparison,
you try to take me in
make me sin
because surely she would do that
and she's prettier than me
she's smarter than me
she's more successful than I
deny
deny
deny
the lie
the lie
the lie
drilled into your head
by silent words
and the loudest imagery
a world built on what you can look like for me
because if you do it for yourself
it's vanity
and you don't want to beselfcentered

Dear Sadness,
you tell me you're a friend
an accompanying pet
a pal I can't get
rid of
you say
you'll never go away
that behind my smiles
you will stay
whispering after every laugh
that you will have the last
and when all the joy is over
you'll be the one left
comforting me
when I have been 'abandoned'
Dear Sadness,
today I call you out
on your manipulation
you are not a train scheduled at this station
you are not welcome
and when you show up,
joy will show you the door
because I may cry,
but once the tears hit the floor
I will be uplifted
emptied of what made me frustrated

In Middleman, I address some experiences where I've been caught in the middle of other people's problems. Situations that made me feel like I could go back to a dark place.

I get worried that someday you'll come back
Try to pick up
What I had slacked
Try to convince me
You’re what I’ve lacked
You’ve visited a few times
When it’s like you’ve covered me in grease
Dark oil covering my entire being
Stuck in my hair
Staining my skin
For a day
Maybe two
And once it’s “over”
I step into the shower
And try to rinse away
What shouldn’t stay
Because all I ever do is say
What I’m going through
But no one ever knew
Until I told them
I had to say the unspeakable
I had to go to the unthinkable
Compliments slipped off my skin
I’ve heard them so many times, they’ve worn thin
I can’t even put how I feel on paper
if I do, it becomes my reality
Acceptance of my inconsistent salary
Comes in every once in a while
Never enough to cover my lifestyle
It’s like I’m always competing
Running a race
When I’m not even the athletic type
I’d rather type
All the things that go through my mind
Even if they sting to admit sometimes
It’s a struggle
But I find comfort knowing someone relates to mine
I only smile
For the innocent now
The ones who don’t swipe blood off their foreheads
Because they’re proud
Of the discord they have caused
Strife amongst brothers
Why am I the only wounded in this battle of giants?
I didn’t deserve to be caught in the fire
I didn’t even go in armed
Yet i was handed a weapon
My expressions
Are not to be taken advantage of
I’m soft,
But that doesn’t mean you can cross
Any borders
You declined your citizenship
I am loyal to my country
So imma zip
My lips
They’re sealed
Concealed
Nothing’s coming out
I earned and own the right to silence
I may be loud most of the time
But if it’s gonna bring violence
I’d rather shut my mouth
I can’t help but be defiant
Tell me to not shoot and I’ll fire it
But ask for the fight
And I’ll avoid the riot
Chaos is not my style
I’d rather run 10 miles
Before doing what I’m told
Won’t let myself be sold
Into your lifestyle
You said you knew me well
Your well
Wasn’t deep enough to trap me
Wrap me
Up in your lies
Real tight
Cover up my eyes
Because the glory is greater
Once victory’s obtained
The struggle was never in vain
I’ve let go
And I’m gonna win this game
Even if I didn’t choose to play
Because wherever I go, I slay
So try
I dare you
You can’t even come close to me
I won’t allow you to see
Me thrive
You’ll be surprised
And that will be your mistake
I was never the one to underestimate

This poem is a part of the Dear series, a collection of open letters I've written in the form of spoken words.

A letter to an old friend.

I’ve never told you how it made me feel
The way you a broke a heart that wasn’t yours to steal
And even after all these years
You come back to me because I have open ears
A kind heart
But not a healthy one
I can’t help but not let myself trust someone
Who offers themselves up in my fear of guns
The kind you can’t hear once they’ve gone off
You only feel the pain after you’ve stopped bleeding
Try to open up and realize you were never healing

I’m always scared of being abandoned
They say they love me, but they’ll never catch me candid
I’ll put up my walls until I’m in my casket
But it’s time to bury the hatchet

Don’t wanna get hurt like the last time
Called you my friend
What’s that worth right?
You have your own problems
People like me, don’t wanna involve ‘em
Because we tell the truth
We tell you there’s nothing wrong with you
You deserve love and kindness like the rest of us

ashley

acevedo

Dear, Anger, Comparison, and Sadness

Middleman

Dear Friend