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Well, we've talked about who you are, but, who am I? Yes, the great existential question that we all ask, but don't all admit so. We're always asking others who are they and always expect answers, but do we truly push ourselves for the answers to this question? Do we really know the answer?
The reason I bring it up is because this is the greatest question you must ask before being able to determine your style. I must add that I believe there is a great difference between fashion and style. Fashion is composed of trends, what other people are doing. Style is who you are. Style is when you don't let trends or what other people are doing change what you like to wear. Style is essential to social interaction. You have no idea how many conversations I've started from compliments I give or recieve. Style is an opportunity to reflect who you are and, more importantly, who you want to be. Ever heard the phrase fake it 'til you make it?
So, who am I? I can tell you who I am at this moment. I'm the girl eating pizza with her older brother, watching Young Justice when I should be doing school work. I'm gonna be working late today.
Who was I? I was born in Puerto Rico and thanks to my military dad, spent my baby/toddler years in Germany living on base. No, I don't speak German. When I was 3, we moved to Georgia in the United States of America. I remember lots of people from our church there whom I love and miss deeply. School was still easy, I lived next to a Krispy Kreme and my mom would take me and my two older bothers on walks around the artificial lake in our neighborhood and we would go swimming in the pool, the results being my now freckly face. I blended in depite being Puerto Rican. I was paler than my actually white peers in school. I remember visits to the goodwill. Cool, vintage bargains have always been fun to me. They were good years, we weren't rich, but we lived in a nice place. We were far from family but found one in our mostly-hispanic church. I wil always remember it fondly, Georgia will always be a great influence to who I am.
We moved to my birthplace Puerto Rico when I was 7 years old. I loved the idea and the first month was great, I saw my family after many years, spent Christmas and New Year's with them and then it was time to go to school. School was easy to me, I just didn't understand why my new teacher would write everything from a text book onto the board, tell me to write it all down in my notebook and sit at her desk to talk on the phone and probably play games, I doubt she was using the internet on her flip-phone in 2008. I went to school in school until we made the family decision to homeschool when I was in 7th grade. Everyone always asks how I make friends, the answer, is how do you make friends? Exactly. I'll tell you more about being homeschooled on a different occasion, though. I do recognize that I meet less people than I did before, but that's out of pure choice. I have the friends I want to have and appreciate those who were in my life before, but no longer (they didn't die, you just gotta say goodbye sometimes). I've always had my best friend, who called me the first day of 4th grade to ask where I was because we hadn't seen each other all summer and she didn't know I was going to a different school. She is one of the most important people in my life and she's still around. And the other one, oh, the other one. I didn't see her for eight years and it so happens that the municipal choir I was participating in at the time would be performing at her 9th grade graduation. From there on, it's history. I may have been in different places throughout my childhood, but Puerto Rico is the place I grew up, the place where my family is and from, where I've made the best friends, where I met myself and found out all the things I truly am passionate about. My expierences have created an adaptibility and love for culture of all varieties in me and an appreciation of people; who are what you truly miss when you leave a place.
Who will I be? I guess here's where you come in. I don't intend to make promises to myself about who I'm going to be, but I will tell you about my big dreams, some a little more achievable than others, but none impossible. I want to work. I love working, I always say yes, which sometimes proves to be a fault, but has led me to have wonderful learning and service experiences. I'd like to grow a loyal following with this website, even if it's small. Sharing my ideas is important to me and this is a great place to do so. I have a desire to do great things in art and fashion, two related and highly competitive industries. I want to do everything, from designing and producing to writing and publishing to marketing and business. Making important, high-profile industry contacts would be super cool. Seeing the world, experiencing different cultures are top priority. Places I'd like to go? Japan, one of my huge inspirations in art and style, visit historic landmarks like Harajuku. I'd also like to go back to Germany, I've seen so much of Europe, but remember very little. I'm a big believer in where the wind takes you and God's plan is never predictable, so I dream, but I like the idea of letting things happen.
I'm writing this two days before my 17th birthday and the wave of nostagia is hitting hard while curating pictures to go with this article. I get very emotional on my birthday. The day comes with a lot of feelings to deal with: anxiety; for the future, happiness; for the celebration, grief; for the days past and overall, gratitude. Gratitude that I am still alive, that I have faced everything life has thrown at me with a smile, that I have surrounded myself with wonderful people and given myself the chance to move on from the difficult times. Gratitude that God has given me everything I ever asked for and is preparing me, giving me motivation to work hard for Him and what lies ahead.
We're at the end and the question remains, Who Am I? I know the answer and yet, I don't. It's not the type of question that can be answered simply. The answer is complex and consists of where I come from, where I am and where I want to go. I am a dreamer, a creative, a chameleon, an oddball. That's who I am.
I hope you enjoyed this post, if you did go ahead and check out my last post, Who Are You?
You might also enjoy this post: Why Nothing Fits You
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And, yes, I was an adorable child.
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